Not funny

I'm not funny. Some people can tell a story and make everyone laugh. I'm not that person. I tend to laugh out loud at myself a lot - which is troublesome because people facing me wonder if I'm laughing at them which tends to have the opposite effect of making them laugh.

And then when I try to explain what's so funny, the irony is usually too subtle or black for me to articulate.

Here's an example. I tried to tell a funny story to a group of friends recently with the intention of making them laugh. My story was about a conversation I'd had with my oldest dearest friend about depression. She and I have been depressed a lot in our lives, and in our conversation we realized how much delight we get being around other depressed people. Awakened, depressed people. You know? People who know they are depressed and can see beyond the depression at the same time they are feeling the depression. Anyway, everytime we said how we felt (like crap, like not getting up today, like not leaving this couch for the rest of our lives... etc) we just laughed harder at ourselves. It was a very bonding experience.

So is that kind of black? I don't know, the irony of it still tickles my funny bone! But when I was done my listeners hadn't laughed once and actually looked kind of concerned. When I accepted I had utterly failed to be funny and one of them said it was kind of depressing, I decided I wanted to develop my story-telling skills.

I have no idea where to begin, but look out, I'm going to stumble forward.

Much love,
Tosh