Facing one's demons

How can a spiritual teacher have credibility if he or she is on Prozac, or aspirin, or coffee, or anything that seems addictive or crutch-like?

I'm currently weening myself off of Prozac. I've been waiting for this moment since two years ago, when I first went on Prozac. The idea was to reduce my anxiety at work, so I could continue to work. In the end, I just felt more miserable and had to leave my job in February 2009. Immediately I started feeling better and it's just gotten better every day. I'm on a mid-life sabbatical and I LOVE it.

But the hangover was being stuck on Prozac. My doctor recommended I see it through, which meant another 8 months of taking it. It's kind of like being on antibiotics. Even though the problem (in my case, the job) was gone, the Prozac had to run its course.

So now I'm reducing the dosage every couple of weeks and noticing some mood swings. It's okay, meditation brings me so much deep peace that I can take all of this in stride. I'm curious to see how it goes once I'm completely off of it.

The other demon I'm facing these days is about commitment. I have been "planning" every day before it begins, and making one commitment each week. This is much harder than I thought it would be. I'm discovering that what I "think" I must do, and hence commit to, is not what I actually do. In fact, when the time comes, I have a whole other set of priorities. Like this week, I committed to creating an email list. Instead I reorganized my office and completed last year's tax return.

I don't know why this is. I'm human?

Lots of love,
Tosh

P.S. I just noticed that only one letter separates medication from meditation!! ;)